one of the ways DBT teaches us to deal with intense emotions is through opposite actions. this means engaging in activities that go against what your negative emotion makes you want to do. This can be done with a couple steps.
Be mindful of the emotion. Observe and describe what you experience and how it affects your body. It’s important to know this before you can address it.
Change your body language / posture. Remaining in the position your emotion wants to put you in will reinforce that emotion. Stand tall and confident, even when you aren’t.
Change your facial expression. Just like your posture, keeping a sour expression that goes along with your strong negative emotion will enforce that emotion. Create a calm, relaxed expression, or even smile.
Engage in behaviors opposite to the emotion. If your emotions are telling you to avoid, approach. If your emotions are telling you to attack, be kind. Some examples for specific emotions could be:
Fear - do what you’re afraid of doing, over and over. approach events, tasks, places, and people you are afraid of. practice skills that give you a sense of control (grounding, mastery, etc).
Guilt - approach and apologize. own up to your mistakes fully. do something nice for the person you’ve hurt (or someone else if you can’t do that). accept consequences gracefully. let things go.
Shame - similar to fear, just keep doing what you are ashamed of, over and over and over. approach and don’t avoid.
Sadness - be active. approach and don’t avoid. do things that make you feel competent and self-confident.
Anger - avoid rather than attack. don’t ruminate. do something kind. practice sympathy and compassion.
I would like to clarify though that sometimes, practicing opposite action is not the right thing to do. if your emotions match the context and feel appropriate, it’s not best to change them (example: if you’re afraid of getting hit by a car, don’t walk into traffic).
the point of opposite action is to make the emotion lessen–fake it ‘til you make it, basically. If you act as if you aren’t angry, the anger will eventually subside. if you act as if you aren’t afraid, the fear will eventually subside.
You have to practice opposite action over and over for it to be effective. you probably won’t notice a change right away, since this skill isn’t immediate (most therapeutic models aren’t), so don’t give up right away when it feels like nothing is happening.
More you might like
Role of Invalidating Environment in Emotional Dysregulation
development of Borderline Personality Disorder
I wrote this down about a year ago, to keep track of what medication im on. funny what happnd since then.
I know I’ve posted about this a bunch of times, but I really do not understand the word recovery when it comes to mental illness, more specifically when it comes to borderline personality disorder.
I brought this up to my therapist last Thursday. The conversation went a little like this.
Me: I hate the word recovery, because I don’t think I’m sick. Also, who decides when you’re there?
My therapist: Well who uses the word recovery?
Me: People…?
My therapist: Who?
Me: I don’t know, people. Tumblr people, just like…people!
My therapist: Well not DBT!
This got me thinking. The whole mindset of DBT is not based on recovery, at least not in the case of treating BPD. The goal of dialectical behavior therapy is to create a “life worth living”. That does not mean they need to you to be “recovered” or whatever that word even means. It means that you should be working towards what I just said: literally living a life that’s worth it. And I think that’s what I need to keep in my mind. I’m not trying to recover. I’m trying to make my life mean something.
borderline personality disorder / dialectical behavior therapy blog
The Development of Borderline Personality Disorder
The disorder is believed to derive from the individual’s biologically sensitive nature, an invalidating environment, and the relationship between the two during development.
Emotional Vulnerability + Inability to Modulate Emotions = Dysregulation
Being Emotionally Vulnerable means:
An individual has a high sensitivity to emotional stimuli
They have an intense reaction to said stimuli
It takes the individual a while to calm down once stimulated
Emotional Modulation is the ability to:
Stop ineffective behavior related to one’s emotions
Act in a way that is not mood-dependent when needed
Self-soothe physical reactions stemming from one’s emotional state
Refocus attention and concentrate despite emotion
Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder’s emotional response system reacts too strongly. The individual with BPD lacks the skill to modulate emotions and to avoid acting on the action urges that come along with them. The biological sensitivity is believed to be caused by dysfunction in the human emotion regulation system. This regulation system is so complex, however, that it’s unlikely we’ll ever find a single biological cause behind the development of BPD.
An invalidating environment is one that communicates:
An individual’s emotional response doesn’t make sense
Their emotional response is not understood
Their emotional response is wrong
Their emotional response is inappropriate
Their emotional response is rejected
Etc
An invalidating environment can result in an individual learning not to trust themselves. This may lead to identity confusion and self-invalidation. Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder learn to scan their surroundings in order to learn how they “should” feel and behave, in order for others to understand and accept them. This is dangerous, however, because the environment can’t always be relied upon. This is why learning to self-validate is so important.
More information:
Invalidating environments aren’t always intentionally invalidating. Many people are simply unaware that the individual is experiencing their emotions so strongly. They may also lack the ability to help them cope.
An environment in which you’re bullied is also considered invalidating.
You do not have to have been traumatized to develop BPD.
Understanding the cause for BPD is not equal to finding fault.
Contrary to popular belief, you can recover from BPD and no longer meet the diagnostic criteria after treatment.
Recovery is reached through learning to properly modulate emotions with the use of coping skills and self-validation.
Yo im officially on the bipolar spectrum. not withruling Borderline personality disorder though. ur crazy everwhere sarah. deal with it. take serequel it will help take a lot.
An important thing I’m working on a lot in therapy is the distinction between feelings and actions. Basically, you can’t really be responsible for the thoughts and feelings you get when you’re upset, but you ARE responsible for your actions.
I think we, “bpd tumblr”, need to remember this. When we split on someone, when we get those feelings of irrational anger or irrational abandonment, that’s not our fault. We can’t be blamed for the way our emotions react. We should not feel bad or hate ourselves for the way we feel.
What we are, and always will be responsible for, is our actions.
If you get upset, and you react by being mean, hurtful, manipulative, or otherwise abusive - that’s on you.
Now I’m not saying that you’re automatically a bad person if, before you got help or knew about BPD, your actions were questionable and unhealthy. I completely understand that this disorder changes the way you think and makes you feel as though these things are necessary/normal. And this is not at all referring to things like self harm where it’s a million times more complicated.
But the second you know you have BPD, you know that the way you act and feel is disordered and not healthy. If you know this, there is absolutely no excuse not to work on your behaviours, at the very least the behaviours that hurt other people.
Nothing and nobody is responsible for you actions except you.
By using BPD as an excuse or explanation for your abusive behaviours, you are actively perpetuating the idea that BPD inherently makes you abusive.
this is so fucking useful, after 2 years in therapy fir bdp, and 4 years in therapy generally on and off, i just recently accepted that even im out if it and mostly unaware of how hurtful i am bc im intensely in the moment of anger/fear i still am responsible for my actions another thing, what helped me accepting this, is simultaneously having a lack of judgement specifically for *thoughts* and *emotions*
just focusing on how to gradually (as gradual as over years) manage to Regulate my emotions and to cope with them using different behaviours
1.self-soothing
comforting yourself through the 5 senses
Touch: stuffed animals, stress balls, taking a bath, a soft blanket
Hear: music, audio book, guided relaxation
See: snow globe, glitter, calming images, art, anything that pleases you visually
Taste: tea, mints, gum
Smell: lotion, candles, incense
2.distraction
removing your focus from the stressor for a period of time
puzzles, art, crafting, reading, movies, gaming, exercise, being social
3.opposite action
doing the opposite of the impulse that aligns with a positive emotion
affirmations, inspiration, lighthearted and encouraging focus
4.emotional awareness
identifying and constructively expressing what you’re feeling
journaling, listing emotions, using a emotional identification chart, drawing, therapy
5. mindfulness
centering and anchoring yourself to the present moment
meditation, guided relaxation, yoga, breathing exercises, candle gazing, going for a walk
6. ask for help
this is important to do when you feel like your coping skills are not enough or they are too negative and detrimental
therapy is ideal for helping a person create a healthy coping strategy and incorporate it into their life
*a coping skill is considered healthy if it helps you to deal with stress more positively, does not hinder your progress, and isn’t harmful physically or mentally. A coping skill can become negative when it is used to completely avoid dealing with the stressor.
this is really nice really, but still i end up harming myself instead emotionally/physically
‘Walking the middle path’ is a term often used in DBT to describe finding the balance with black and white thinking. Above is an information sheet about various forms of black and white thinking, as well as a sheet of examples that seek to disprove black and white trains of thought.
From DBT Skills and Training, 2nd Edition, by Marsha M. Linehan.
this is confusing me so much but i like it
All the content in this post uses the Skills Training Manual (Second Edition) by Marsha Linehan as the basis of every post on skills and concepts. Rather than just copying out what is written in the Manual, I’ve elaborated on these skills, concepts, and their components using what has been taught to me in my DBT group sessions as well as my own personal understanding of the skills. Nevertheless, the Manual is the basis and starting point of all the posts here except for the “Other Information” section. Everything that is covered in the Manual’s Skills component will eventually be covered in posts contained in this masterpost.
General DBT Information:
Mindfulness:
Distress Tolerance and Radical Acceptance:
Interpersonal Effectiveness:
Emotion Regulation:
Other Information:
NOTE: This post will be updated on a semi-regular basis as we add more DBT
posts to the blog. If you’re seeing a reblogged version of this, be sure
to check the original post to see if it has been updated. This is a
Work In Progress and will be updated regularly as I write more posts.
Each time I write a post, it will get immediately added to the list.
Also
additional posts may be added that are not already included on this
list. Now that the inbox has been re-opened, feel free to request one
of the topics on this list that you would like me to prioritize. I’m
currently in the process of learning the Emotion Regulation unit, so
those posts are likely a couple weeks away at least and I won’t be able
to get to them if they’re requested until I’ve learned about them in my
DBT group.
This post will be reblogged every time four or five
new DBT posts have been added to it, so that you can have an up-to-date
record.
